Last Day.

So today I've decided I'm going to write my journal, because I kind of need to vent out my thoughts, etc. This year is now almost over, and today, I spent the day reflecting on events that happened to me. I get that people probably don't want to be reading the 'story of my life', because frankly, it just might be a bit boring. So anyway, these couple of days have been a bit hard for me, for various, personal reasons that I won't disclose in this public journal. Today I learned some stuff that's been going on in the family from my mom, and I realized that this would impact me a lot. I gave it a lot of thought, and used a lot of my time to think about me, my life, and my future. Also, through reading my current book, the Count of Monte Cristo, I've learned a lot about 'perspectives'. The book touches a lot on philosophy, and a lot about emotions. Somehow, right at this moment, I feel that at times I can relate to the protagonist of the story. My parents also gave me a talk on my attitude to school, work, and life. All these kind of linked up, and I realize that if I want to fix the problems, and succeed in life, I'm going to have to change a lot on my attitude and perspectives in different things. For the past 15 years I've been fortunate enough to be born in a family where I basically have no worries in anything serious. It wasn't that I took things for granted, because I understood how fortunate I was, it was more like I didn't think anything would happen that would put me in a difficult situation. So anyway, now that I'm in highschool, I realize that life is more serious than facebook, the internet, etc. I also realize that I have to take things more seriously and can't just expect everything to turn out the way I planned, like it did for the past 15 years. So my new year resolution this time, is to push myself more, and push myself to the limit, where I know I can go. I'm  not expecting like a dramatic change next morning suddenly, like I wake up, and suddenly I'm a whole better person. It will take time, but I'm willing to commit to it. I'm going to embrace 2012 with a new attitude.

Today. December 6.

I realize that I've already missed three journals (probably four now). But I feel like writing a journal today anyways. So today was in general an "OK" day. Yesterday, I had a quite a lot of homework, so I went to bed quite late. Before class started, I went to check my PSAT score. Although I got quite a high score, I actually dropped 3 points from the practice test. That makes me kind of annoyed and sad. I knew that I didn't do as well as in the practice test, but still. Dropping down 3 points is 30 points by SAT marking systems. So my final score actually means its a worse score than my SAT practice tests. This makes me worried about my SAT score. PSATs are supposed to be easier... right? Anyway, although it is a pretty high score compared to the rest of the school, I'm still kind of annoyed. There are more people who got a higher score than me this time, but they're all in higher grades than me. Still. I wanted to get a higher score. Geometry was alright this morning. I'm really happy about my test score in the chapter test though. Chemistry is kind of hard as usual, and the teacher is assigning a LOT of homework as usual. I'm going to be having a FUN (sarcasm) week I bet with all the chemistry homework. In musical production class we practiced another scene, I was in charge of taking pictures with one of my friends. I can't seem to get good pictures though. But somehow, my friend can capture amazing pictures. Then in MUN class I almost fell asleep when we were talking about political systems. In orchestra I was really glad because I thought I played quite well today. So tonight when I was doing homework I listened to many songs. I love listening to music when I'm doing homework. I listened to songs for example: talking to the moon, the one that got away, count on me, etc. Then I also listened to this internet meme, the "Trolololol man". It's hilarious. Now, I'm listening to Chopin's Fantasie Impromptu, which is one of the pieces I'm going to master before I die, when I find time. It's one of my absolute favorite pieces ever, and I WILL be playing it one day. I literally can't stop listening to it.

TODAY!!

Today, in general is a GREAT DAY!!! Although today is an amazing day, I've still got worries in my head. I feel heavy when I think of it, and it makes me depressed, so I try not to think about it. Anyway, first off, about TODAY. So today I had to wear a shirt, a skirt, and a tie (I didn't actually wear my tie for long haha) because of a 'tradition' of the girls basketball team where we wear formal stuff on the day we have a game. So yeah it was kind of embarrassing being the only people to wear formal stuff with everyone staring. But oh well. Then at lunch, we bombarded a friend of ours because it was her birthday. It was actually pretty amazing. We made a fake cake out of shaving cream and smashed it onto her. Then we each had an individual plate of shaving cream and rubbed it on her. It was really fun, until she started attacking us too. So in the end, we've all got shaving cream on us.Then we made her wear this really sexy dress and super high high-heels. It was really fun. Then the rest of the day wasn't as fun until school ended. By the way, our team chant for the yellow team isn't very good, to be hones. Our chant includes a heck lot of 'gobbles'. And you know what else makes gobbling sounds? Turkeys. So anyway after school, we went to our basketball game. It's my first ever game, so I was really nervous. I'm SO glad and happy because I was put in the starting five, but only because one of the members weren't there. Still. It's an achievement because atleast our coach chose me yayyy. I thought the game was quite good, though we lost. We showed great improvements though. I'm so glad. When I got home, I crashed onto the sofa and started sleeping. So yeah, now after thinking about today's awesomeness, I'm now dragged back to reality. Sometimes I hate reality. But who doesn't? But still, today in World History class we learned about 'gratitude'. I'm not saying that I'm feeling 'ingratitude'. I'm saying that I don't like thinking about what's coming this weeked. So anyway this weekend we have our SAT test. This score goes on my official record, I think. So like the future people looking at my college app can see it. I'm in really big pressure now, I could cry any moment.Sometimes I feel like people expect a lot out of me, and in truth, I'm not that good. I don't know why they think so much, because I'm really not that prepared and stuff. Then there's sports day. I don't want to disappoint my team. I want to win. I'm really stressed now. Like really, really stressed. I'm feeling sick, and tired, and I feel like really panicky. I'm trying to take my mind off it, but I know I have to face it anyway. I don't know what to do.

Ahhhh I need sleep or else I'll look ugly.

Yestserday, I had only four hours of sleep. FOUR HOURS. That's barely enough for me. So I slept on my way to school, and during homeroom. I managed not to fall asleep in class, which was a miracle in itself. So anyway, recently, I just got braces in. When I looked in the mirror, I realized how much I've changed. My face looked different. But I don't think its because of the braces. I think its just from everything. Sleepless nights, and late night homework and pressure has really affected how I look in person. There are black circles under my eyes, my skin tone is kind of weird, and even my hair looks ugly. I'm really annoyed because I won't get to sleep in on both this Saturday and Sunday, because of the SAT test and Sportsday. So I won't get a chance to get my livelier look back soon. I really hate how I look now. I think I look really ugly. This is all caused from the daily late-nights and exhaustions that have finallly caught up with my body. I hate this. I look so dead and not alive. Also, because of my braces, I can't really eat a lot, so this causes HUNGER. During PE and basketball practise, I get tired really easily now and that's really bad. I'm really annoyed. I need to sleep earlier. I'm actually really tired and it's only 10:42, but there are still things to do. Even if I do go to bed, I still won't be able to fall asleep. It's really irritating because everytime before I go to bed, my body's like, "need to get sleep now", but when I'm actually on my bed, my brain's like, "JUST KIDDING!" And I end up lying there for another half-hour or so. I remember a couple of months ago, I couldn't fall asleep for some reason. I don't know why but I just physically couldn't sleep. It's like my body is not the least bit tired. And it was like I was an insomniac, or had a sleeping disorder or something. I used to think that people that sleep in class are just plain ignorant and just bored. But now, I'm starting to feel the temptation of sleeping in class. But I can't, because that would be a bad thing to do and I would probably get in trouble. So now, I'm going to get to bed as soon as I can.

This Weekend...

So this long weekend was quite eventful. Basically, it started off really fun. On Friday, I went to see this amazing film called 'In Time', starring Justin Timerlake (who knew? he could sing and act) and Amanda Seyfried (who also sings, by the way). It's an amazing and original film. The writer of the plot must be really creative... I'd never have thought of this idea. (By the way, quite a while back, when the 'Curious Case of Benjamin Button' became a center of attention, I was really shocked because I had actually thought of that idea before. I remember I used to tell my mom 'what if people were born old and died young?' Then one day she came up to me and told me they made a movie about that idea. My face was like: O.O I used to think they overheard me talking or something. But now I don't think so.) After the movie, I went around with my friends around the mall, did my nails, and tried on some makeup. It was really fun. I really wanted to buy this Jill Stuart eye liner set but its sooo expensive. Then on Saturday, I got my braces for the buttom row of my teeth. It hurts SO MUCH. I can't actually eat now. When I got the braces, somehow, the braces made me bite the inside of my cheeck, so there are like little cuts from the braces. Then on our way home, I was eating this icecream when suddenly two of the braces popped out, so we had to drive back and get it re-glued. It still hurts A LOT, and I still can't eat much. It sucks. Then on Sunday, I did a whole set of SAT practise, and did really badly. For some reason, I just couldn't focus and made A LOT of careless mistakes. I really hope I'll do well on the SAT practise next weekend. (And sports day, ahhh). But finally, to end the weekend on a happier note, I watched ANTM Cycle 17!!! Yayyyy!!! I think this cycle is the BEST. The models auditioned for CSI, modelled on stilts, made their own music video, and who knows what else is to come? Oh my god, I love this cycle so much. I think sooo many girls are pretty, like Shannon, Dominique, Kayla, oh my god I think they are the three prettiest girls EVER. It's not even fair. But anyway, this long weekend was eventful.

Jellybeans

Jellybeans are probably one of the most awesome food/snack/candy on this planet. Not only does it come in different colors, it also comes in different flavors. I've had watermelon flavored jellybeans which actually have a green skin and red inside, like an actual watermelon. Some of my favorite flavors include:Root Beer, Berry Blue, Bubble Gum, Cotton Candy, Island Punch, Strawberry Cheesecake, Toasted Marshmallow, Tuttie Frutti, and list goes on and on! At times I like to think that jellybeans go deeper than just a food/snack/candy. As a famous president,  Ronald Reagan once said,

"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans."

This is one of my all-time favorite quotes. Ronald Reagan was a big fan of jelly beans. It was essential in the Oval office and Air Force One after he was inaugerated. Moreover, the blueberry flavor was actually invented because of him. He needed white, red and blue jelly beans for his inaugural parties. At times of my deep philosophical moments, I imagine jellybeans being ways of defining human beings. Like Ronald Reagan said, the way each person eats a jellybean is different. What he later on followed up was that some people grab handfuls, while others pick certain flavors. This is quite a silly analogy, but it actually explains a lot. I'm the kind of person who pick certain flavors. This probably means I am a more cautious person and more careful. And someone who try handfuls with different flavors probably display a more adventurous nature. And people who don't even care about what flavor they are eating, and just popping them in their mouth, this is probably the kind of person who doesn't fully appreciate jellybeans. A fun fact: did you know that Jelly Bellys are the first ever jelly beans to go outerspace? And here's an ultimate challenge: Ever tried eating a whole jellybean pack with a knife and fork?

There is no purpose to life.

If someone were to read this title only, they'd think its a suicide note. Today was a pretty depressing day. So basically, I knew that I accidently (kind of) didn't do some of my homework. Someone told me the homework was for Wednesday, turns out its wan't so I was really annoyed the whole day. Then in basketball practise, I was kind of annoyed at some people because she wouldn't pass the ball. Oh my god. She tossed the ball randomly at the hoop, when I was completely wide open. I was kind of annoyed at that. Plus, I was really tired today. So about an hour into practise I was on the verge of fainting. Then while I was waiting for my ride home, I talked to a couple of students about the upcoming BeiMUN. I was under a lot of pressure about it. I heard that I needed to start preparing now. But I didn't know what to prepare, like what kind of information to get, etc. I am almost entirely lost on how to even be a good delegate. I've only ever been to ONE MUN conference, and it was quite an easy one. So I'm a grade 1 noob to most of the other delegates and I could kind of guess that I would be a target for them to attack. I'm kind of worried. But my friend told me to think positive and that if I think I'm going to get beaten up really bad, than I've lost the battle already. So I've got to toughen up! When I came home, I crashed onto the sofa. There wasn't any food so I was hungry and tired and really annoyed at life. I locked myself up in the bathroom and thought about all the homework I had to do later. Then I thought that there was no purpose to live. I mean, what exactly am I living for? Some grand prize at the end of the road of life? I really don't know. I just think to myself: exactly what is so good about the future that could be my motivation to live on? I know there's all those animals waiting for me to try to save, but really, are human beings really going to stop hunting and poaching? I think humanity is destined for doom. Even kids know its wrong to kill animals. So exactly what happened between the shift from infant to adolescence to finally adulthood? What made the children somehow believe that killing for money is worth it? So like I'm saying, there's never going to be a bright world full of wonder and joy. I think I'm a pessimistic person :D

Plans, plans, plans.

Okay so basically for me my life isn't exactly perfect. But then I guess part of the fun is the imperfection. So here's my ideal schedule: Saturdays I wake up and watch this TV show. Then after lunch I do my homework (hopefully finish it). Then at night I read and do other stuff. Also, I practise my flute and maybe piano. And also have my flute lesson. Then on Sunday I get to sleep-in. I chill in the morning, maybe read or finish homework. In the afternoon I do SAT practise. Then at night (and here's the fun part): I cook. I love baking and cooking I haven't done it for a while, so I've decided that as soon as I get my life settled, I will start baking and cooking again. My plan is to cook or bake something new every Sunday for dinner. Also, every other Saturday, I will be helping out and volunteering with the animal shelter to give away dogs. Plus, I'll be playing my flute on the street to hopefully earn a bit of money to donate to the shelter. This is my plan. I want to help out both myself and others. 'You are either an activist or an inactivist'. I'm sick of just saying things. I need to 'do' more instead of keep 'talking'. Also, when I find time, I'm going to complete my own '95 theses' on how we could improve the animal world, ie. one of the theses would be stop the dolphin killing in Japan. When I finish these 95 theses, I'm going to find the mailbox of hopefully all the world leaders and MAIL IT TO THEM. Hopefully, this would garner attention and pressurize them into actually implementing useful plans that can protect the animal world more. Because frankly, I think animals deserve more rights than that.  And on Sundays, I might go play a couple of basketball games with my brother and my father. I want to keep a balanced and happy life. But first, I need to get a grip!!!

Parent-Teacher Conference Results

My mom went to the parent-teacher conference and while she was there, I was worrying about whether or not I did something wrong in class or whether I'd get in trouble or something. Turns out, when she came back, she was in a good mood and said that there was nothing to worry about, except my Chemistry stuff. I'm really bad at Chemistry. I don't know why, I just am. For a lot of people, Chemistry would be the easier subject compared to classes like English and World History, because Chemistry is just about getting the logic and memorizing it. The thing is, I can't memorize things. I can get stories and plots, just not Chemistry stuff. I think it is important for me to learn to get both things that are rational and sentimental, because I want to major in psychology in university, or something along the lines of that, such as anthropology, etc. For me, I think I enjoy English and World History, etc. more than other people because I actually enjoy reading and studying the characters/historical figures. I think the reason why I want to take this path in the future is because of curiousity. I want to understand why people do certain things and their motivations, etc. I know that a lot of people want to major in psychology, too, but I'm not sure why. But I think a good idea would be to keep my eyes wide open so that I could choose another major it I have to. If I do become a psychologist, I want to travel around the world and study all sorts of neurological diseases that cause psychological problems, etc. But, unfortunately, I get emotional and sentimental, etc. easily, so if I see someone in a poor condition I just might break down in front of them, and that's not good. But, I'll stay strong and persevere.

My birthday

Today (yesterday?), November 15th, was my birthday. I woke up earlier than usual to finish off my geometry homework. Waking up was hard. It took several attempts for me to finally be infront of my geometry book. Then at school, I recieved a wave of 'Happy Birthdays'. At my locker, one of my friends gave me a gift. I was really surprised and SO grateful. I never thought she'd give me a gift. So anyway, she gave me this frame and this little yellow rabbit doll which I attached to my locker. At lunch, I expected something to come because the previous day one of my friends told me to bring extra clothes. I thought they were going to drench me in water or something. But no. They covered me with shaving cream. It was unbelievable. They covered literally every spot on the top half of my body, including my hair. I had to walk past the whole cafeteria to get to the bathrooms. It was pretty embarrassing but amazingly fun as well. It was so exhilerating. I can't believe being covered in shaving cream could be so fun! In the bathroom, I had a hard time getting rid of all the cream. In the end, I put my head near the sink and washed my hair. my hair was really messy afterwards, so I spent the musical production lesson with my hood from my jacket on. Then I smoothed it out, but it was still ridiculously tangled. I kept playing and teasing my hair apart for the rest of the day. All through the day I recieved a lot of Happy Birthdays. At the end of the day, I went out with a bunch of my friends to a restaurant. I was so full by the end that I could hardly walk. But I managed to stuff the last bit of the chocolate fondue. It's amazing how much space chocolate can clear for your stomach. I also recieved presents from this bunch of my friends. I got earphones (just what I needed since my current ones are broken), a key chain in the shape of a rabbit (yay!!), a Coach key chain (it's so cool, it's from America), and these amazingly adorable rabbit shaped ear muffs. When my mom came to pick me up, she also gave me a present. She gave me this really cute pillow/cushion and a magazine. I love pillows. I collect them. Then the biggest surprise was when I got home, my brother also gave me a present. I didn't expect one from him although my brother and I give eachother presents on eachother's birthdays. And the presents are normally really cool. So he gave me a choice between ordering something on Amazon.com and adopting an animal from WWF. I went with WWF, since then it would be for a greater cause. So I have to pick an animal to adopt or pick a group of animals in which the donation will be equally split between them. My brother is going to donate them in my name. I've already recieved a present like this last year from my brother where he adopted an arctic fox in my name. Only last year, I didn't choose, and he chose. I was completely surprised last year because I came home from school and this email told me that I had adopted an arctic fox. I thought it was spam but then a package arrived with a certificate and all. So this year's birthday was really cool, too and pretty awesome.

SAT practise

On December 3rd, the highschool students of our school have to take the SATs. This is for a mark to submit to the CTY administratives and to make sure you are above the border to be admitted to its dummer camps. Chances are, we won't pass it the first time. However, we will have a second chance at January. And if we don't pass that, then we can't attend the CTY summer camp for this year. But you could always take it again next year. Still, having a record of 10 SATs probably doesn't look good on your college application. One thing I hate about SATs is the essay. Personally, I don't mind writing essays, as long as we can TYPE them. Hand-writing the essays are not only tiring but also takes up a LOT of valuable energy. By the end of the essay your hands are dead, and you barely have enough energy for filling in the circles for other sessions. My mom makes me do SAT practise every week. Mostly now, I'm just practicing my math sessions. I'm trying to aim for getting at least around 680 to 700, that way, atleast I can join a math camp for CTY. Also, its good practise for later. Once I nail the math section, I can focus more on reading extra books and expanding my knowledge for the english sections: critical reading and writing. Although I get annoyed when I'm doing the practises, but I understand that they are important and essential for me. Someone who doesn't practise at all is not going to go to a good college. Like the Chinese proverb says: There is no free lunch in the world.

Western Black Rhinos

On Thursday, November 10, the Western Black Rhino was declareds extinct. This news means a lot to me. If I tell this to someone, they would probably say, "It's just a subspecies... it doesn't matter. I'm sure there are plenty more rhinos in the world." It's JUST a subspecies??? It DOESN'T matter???  PLENTY MORE??? There happens to only be 5 subspecies. 3 of which are critically endangered. And for those of you who don't know what that means, it means that they are on the brink of extinction. ALL of the rhinos are endangered, but 3 of them are near extinction. Still, ALL are endangered. WHY? Because some people think that its ok to just shoot a rhino and cut off their horns. And why do they cut off their horns? Because some people think that the rhino horns are helpful in Eastern traditional medicines. But are they? NO. Rhino horns have not been scientifically proven to be a helpful ingredient in medicines. Even if they are, it is NOT right to just shoot an animal and cut off parts of its body. What makes them think that we are superior to animals and that they are inferior? Once, I asked a fellow student of mine: "What do you think about human beings using all the resources and killing all the animals?" You know what s/he said? S/he said: "I think its fine. The resources and animals are here for us to use." CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? I WANTED TO SLAP S/HE. I wanted to yell in his/her face that HUMAN BEINGS CAME A LOT LATER THAN MOST OF THE SPECIES HERE. Human beings have only been around for about 200,000 years, while techinically, the earth is about 4.5 billion years old. So do the math. This is sounding like a rant. But I'm just so sick of all the ignorant people of this world. How could they look an animal in the eye and pull the trigger? How could they cut down a tree without batting an eye? I'm not saying that I'm not using all these resources, I'm just saying that atleast I am conscious of all the energy I'm using up. One of my dreams as a child was to pay back to Mother Earth, because as a child, I've asked myself: Who am I to use up all these resources and energy? It's like paying back a debt. If you borrowed something, you return it. So I want to do something that could change the world. And when I say the world I don't mean the world of humans, I mean the world of Mother Earth and all the other living beings. If people would just open their eyes, they could see the beauty of the world, and not be blinded by all the killing and wasting. I sincerally hope this would happen one day.

School Ties

Today during club time we watched the movie 'School Ties'. We somehow managed to fit the entire highschool and middleschool into the auditorium... but a lot of them were sitting on the floor. The movie was really touching. It was about how a Jewish boy, David Greene, gets into a rich prep school in Massachusetts. At that time, the Jews weren't very welcome, even in America. At first, when he arrived at the school, he hid the fact that he was a Jew. Everyone were making Jew jokes while he was right there, but he took it all in. He was recruited into the prep-school because he was a star-quarterback. This upsetted one of his friends, Dillon, who comes from a high achieving family of quarterbacks and harvard alumni. After the most important game of the year, where they won, Dillon's resentment towards Greene grew stronger. He was annoyed that he wasn't the quarterback to win the game. Then he also saw his 'girlfriend' breaking up with him for Greene. This up set him a lot, and at that time, he overhears that Greene was actually a Jew. Back at prep-school, he tells the rest of their friends. They start making fun of him and insulting him, with only Reece, his roommate, giving him a little support. They started taunting him in the cafeteria, and even hung up a sign that said 'Go Home Jew' with a Nazi sign at the head of his bed. As the history exam came up, all of the students were nervous about it. Dillon decided to cheat. As he left the classroom, his cheat sheet dropped. The teacher picked it up, but was unable to tell who wrote the sheet (it was written in capitals). The teacher decided to leave it up to the person who cheated to confess, or he would flunk the whole class. Greene saw Dillon do it, and Dillon, out of desperation, accuses Greene in front of everyone. With a secret ballot, the class decided on Greene to confess and were convinced he cheated simply because he was a Jew. In the end, Dillon's roommate Rip told the principal anyway that he saw Dillon cheat. Dillon was expelled. This story has several strong meanings behind it. First, there was the theme of discrimination, whereby Greene was being judged simply because he was  Jew. Second, there was the theme of cheating and honesty. Dillon cheated on the test and accused Greene. Third, there was the theme of perseverance. Greene persevered. This is a strong movie and I'm really glad we watched it.

24

Today in basketball practise, we got our jerseys. FINALLY!!! I'm really excited. I couldn't let go of it when we got it. At first, directly after practise, our coach took us to his office. We all crowded around his cubicle, and stared in awe as he dumped the new jerseys out. We took in the numbers, and all of us locked our eyes on the jersey of number 24. Right before practise ended, our coach gave us a little speech about the jerseys. The number 23 was left out because it was the number of one of the greatest basketball players. Michael Jordan. If anyone got that number, I'm sure he/she would be under great pressure. But then there was number 24 as well. Our coach told us that the number also belonged to a great basketball player, Kobe Bryant. He said that whoever got the number should aspire to play well in basketball. Out of all the new people who got their jerseys, there was 1 senior, 2 sophomores, 4 freshmen, and 1 eighth grader. Our coach told us that the number would be distributed according to age. So the senior would get a smaller number, because the jerseys were distributed from 1 though 99. I counted in my head, and figured that one of the sophomores would get 24, since the senior is going to get 21 (because the last jersey last year was no. 20), and there are two sophomores, each 22 and 24. However I was wrong. When he called out number 24, he looked at me, and asked me what grade I'm in. I got the 24 jersey. I can't believe it! This is means that atleast our coach has a certain recognition in me, because out of all the freshmen (and the sophomore), our coach chose me to be 24. I'm really proud, but at the same time, afraid that I won't be able to live up to the number. But our coach told us to make our own history with the number. So I'm going to make my own history, and make the number live up to me.

Tetris

I've realized recently that I've become addicted to Tetris. But really, its a fun game. I've played it everyday, and haven't had one day where I didn't touch it in any way. By this I mean, because I've gotten so into Tetris, I've even downloaded a computer version, one on my phone, tetris online, etc. but the most common one I use is the one on Facebook, called 'Tetris Battle'. I don't know why, but the one on Facebook seems the most addictive. Tetris is such a fun game. You have to fit the blocks so that it cancels out when one line is full. I find it super fun. Surprisingly, I used to hate Tetris. I used to think that it was hard and boring. But for some reason, I played it once, and immediately got hooked on to it. I remember the first time I won a tetris game. I was ecsatic. I was so happy and excited. But after a few days, where I've won a lot more games, I realized that its really not that hard. On a couple of days, I've been playing tetris so much that I even dreamed about it. Also, I sometimes catch myself picturing the blocks falling into place and the lines cancelling out when I'm bored and daydreaming. It's kind of frightening actually. I can even do a mental game of tetris. I swear I've gone through all the different combinations in which the blocks fall into place. It's actually overwhelming at times. I feel myself yearning for another game of tetris, and familiar feeling of my fingers on the up, left, and right keys and the space bar. I yearn to put the blocks into a perfect spot. I think that I'm going to leave tetris for a while. Maybe that would help me.

Today. November 3rd.

Techinically, its the 4th already. I've been working on my homework and studying that I've finally got time to write my blogger. I really should be getting my sleep. But I still need to do my Musical Production Midterm homework, and study more for chemistry. Today was in general a good day. The first class was geometry and that was boring... as usual. English was really fun today. We spent the lesson solving riddles. That was really fun. I think that if I was 'Supreme Executive Educator' or something, I'd make that a lesson. And call it 'Riddle Class'. People would answer riddles and practise lateral thinking skills. And talk about Tom Riddle. Haha. That was a joke. So after that we had chemistry class. I spent that lesson reviewing for tomorrow's Midterm. Then World History class was slightly boring. We learned about Zheng-He and his trips to various places. Lunch was ok. After lunch was Wordly Wise. I finished my weekly two lessons and played Tetris for the remainder of the lesson. Then we had clubs. I am in the extreme sports club, though actually in my case it is 'extreme sitting'... with friends and gossiping. But today, I actually practised shooting. Then I sat down with my friends and talked and watched guys play basketball. Then school ended and I ran to the cafeteria and stole a couple of cookies from the baking club. I spent the remainder of the afternoon surfing through music with my friends for suitable songs for the chistmas show. Then I did homework for the remainder of the night. And now here I am.

Songs That Mean A Lot

There are many haters in the world. Sometimes, they judge a song by who sang it. If someone else had sang that song, they would worship it. That's stupid. At times I just want to shout, 'SHUT UP AND ENJOY THE MUSIC.' Many of these songs actually mean something. Recently, I've heard the song 'Skyscraper' by Demi Lovato. Many people in this world really hate her for absolutely NO reasons at all. (Haters= Having Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success). So anyway, her song is about overcoming difficulties and staying strong. Many artists have songs that mean a lot. Most of the themes of the songs are easy to relate to. One artist once said that songs are messages and the artists are the messengers. One song I find really meaningful is 'American Pie' by Don McLean. It was about the airplane crashed that killed some of the best artists in the world. It talks about 'the day the music died'. I also like the song 'Someone Like You' by Adele. It is about her breakup with her boyfriend. I think it is an amazing song. It has good lyrics and a good tune. Most of the best songs in the world are the ones that the singer can actually relate to, and is sang with true passion. Another song I think is probably one of the best songs (it's actually a song from the musical, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, the ORIGINAL one) is Pure Imagination. It has such amazing lyrics. I love listening to it. It also has this really mystical and fantastical tune. Eminem also has a lot of songs that mean a lot to him. Like his song 'Mockingjay' and 'When I'm Gone' are both dedicated to her daughter. I think crappy songs that don't mean a thing and are insulting should be banned and made illegal.

How To Come Up With Topics for the Journals

I've decided to write this journal entry on how to come up with topics to write for the journals. Everyday, I google 'random topic generator' and click on the first link and choose the 'opinion' tab, then click 'Generate Topic'. Some of the topics are quite good, but most of them repeat. Today, I decided to just write about this. To be honest, I have a pretty boring life. No one wants to know what I eat for breakfast, or what my brother and I argued about today. So in general, I just use the random topic generator. However, sometimes during the day when I randomly think of a topic that could potentially be something to write about, I save it in my phone. There's a function called ListMaster, and I just basicallly make lists of a lot of things. In this case, a topic to write about. Sometimes, I write about what I feel about what I learned that day. For example, I write about what I feel about certain current events that I learn from MUN class. And rarely, unless something happens, I write about something important that happened, like the HsinMUN conference, or Halloween. Actually, as I am writing this topic, I've just came up with two more topics I can write about, one of them relating to something that happened to me today (deciding on a new flute) and a random idea that just popped into my head (writing whatever, and let the flow of your thoughts take you). Sometimes I think my entries are too long. I don't mind personally. I don't mind writing these long entries because later on in life I can reflect back on these thoughts. But for example, in my musical class, we have to write a journal, too. But its handwritten, and also you have to fill up an entire page. That kind of sucks because if we hand-write it, chances are we will write less, and slower. And if we write slower, it is harder to let your thoughts flow. So I think the best forms of journal are the digital ones. However, my musical production teacher does have a point, that handwriting is a diminishing art, and that it is best if we can preserve our handwriting. And right now, I've just thought of another topic to write about: Handwritings.

Friends

Friends mean a lot to me. Actually, I think they mean a lot to everyone. Friends are the people who know you, and are nice to you. That's the general definition of the word. But really, there's more to it. There are many different types of friends. There are those who you can talk to when there's no one else around. There are those you tell all your secrets to and be comforted by the fact that they won't tell anyone. There are those who although are nice to you, are able to backstab you if they want to. There are those who support you to the end, even if you are wrong. I want a friend who I can completely trust and can confide in if I ever get in trouble. Scratch that. If I do get in trouble and end up in jail, my true friend would not be the one bailing me out, but would instead be the one sitting next to me on the bench saying, 'Boy, that was some adventure." (I'm glad I have some friends like that :) ) Friends are indescribable. The amount of value they are to us is irrevocable. In order to have friends, you yourself need to be one first. I try my best to treat others the way I would like to be treated, that is, helping them out as much as possible, and generally, being nice and supporting them. Today, in a lesson, I'm not sure if I was accidently being rude to one of my friends. It wasn't on purpose, and I was just trying to give him/her an advice, but I may have come off a bit arrogant. I felt really bad afterwards, and apologized. Also, I think that sometimes I can be a bit pushy, and selfish. But I don't do it on purpose. Sometimes, I just forget to think. I feel really bad after though. Today, after basketball, I kept trying to persuade my friend to go back downstairs with me, because I wasn't feeling well. I saw that she was trying to practise really hard, and that she wanted to stay a bit longer. However, I felt like throwing up, so I was being kind of pushy. Afterwards, when I got home, I thought it through, and realized what a ..... I had been. I should have seen how much she wanted me to stop bugging her. I felt really sorry after. So anyway, what I'm trying to say is, friends are one of the most important people surrounding everyone's life. People should appreciate it, and not take them for granted.

Grades

I'm a perfectionist. I want to get straight A's. Everytime I open veracross, I close my eyes, and slowly open, them, hoping none of my grades have dropped to a B. In the asian society, grades mean basically everything. To get a B is absolutely unacceptable. Well, not absolutely, but its enough to depress someone for days. For example, when I learned that I'm probably going to get a B for PE, I was absolutely down for the rest of the day. When we lost that one softball game which cost us the A, I felt like crying. And it sucked. Most of my team were really depressed. We tried our very best, but we still couldn't win. It's horrible being a loser. No one ever remembers the 'second place'. This is my life's motto. I have to be first, because no one cares about who is second. Does anyone remember who the second person to land on the moon is? No. Well, actually I do, but that's a different case. (By the way, the second person to land on the moon is Buzz Aldrin). Sometimes, I think I care about my grades too much, but I know that if I don't push myself, I won't be able to achieve the best that I could have done. I want to prove to people that I can change the world. I want to change the world. I want to go to a good college, and get a good job. But I'm not doing this for me. When I was younger, I used to tell my mom that I didn't have to be rich, and that I'd be happy, like from doing charity work. But my mom told me something that I will never forget: Money can't give you everything, but without money, you get nothing. This is a chinese proverb. Since then I've learned, that to change the world and help those in need, I need to first gain money and power. With money, I can provide more help to those in need, than if I didn't have money. This is my motivation of getting good grades. I don't care if I don't live a rich life with luxurious items. I couldn't care less if I didn't have the best products in my future life. All I care about is to help the people who actually need the money more than I do, and to help out animals and to save the earth. My motivation for working hard is that since I've been born to this world, and that so much resources have been wasted on me, why shouldn't I do something and repay our earth? It is everyone's responsibility to do their best to help our planet. Even though many people couldn't care less, I know that if I've done my part, and tried to persuade others to do the same, than I've tried my best and will have no regrets.