There is no purpose to life.

If someone were to read this title only, they'd think its a suicide note. Today was a pretty depressing day. So basically, I knew that I accidently (kind of) didn't do some of my homework. Someone told me the homework was for Wednesday, turns out its wan't so I was really annoyed the whole day. Then in basketball practise, I was kind of annoyed at some people because she wouldn't pass the ball. Oh my god. She tossed the ball randomly at the hoop, when I was completely wide open. I was kind of annoyed at that. Plus, I was really tired today. So about an hour into practise I was on the verge of fainting. Then while I was waiting for my ride home, I talked to a couple of students about the upcoming BeiMUN. I was under a lot of pressure about it. I heard that I needed to start preparing now. But I didn't know what to prepare, like what kind of information to get, etc. I am almost entirely lost on how to even be a good delegate. I've only ever been to ONE MUN conference, and it was quite an easy one. So I'm a grade 1 noob to most of the other delegates and I could kind of guess that I would be a target for them to attack. I'm kind of worried. But my friend told me to think positive and that if I think I'm going to get beaten up really bad, than I've lost the battle already. So I've got to toughen up! When I came home, I crashed onto the sofa. There wasn't any food so I was hungry and tired and really annoyed at life. I locked myself up in the bathroom and thought about all the homework I had to do later. Then I thought that there was no purpose to live. I mean, what exactly am I living for? Some grand prize at the end of the road of life? I really don't know. I just think to myself: exactly what is so good about the future that could be my motivation to live on? I know there's all those animals waiting for me to try to save, but really, are human beings really going to stop hunting and poaching? I think humanity is destined for doom. Even kids know its wrong to kill animals. So exactly what happened between the shift from infant to adolescence to finally adulthood? What made the children somehow believe that killing for money is worth it? So like I'm saying, there's never going to be a bright world full of wonder and joy. I think I'm a pessimistic person :D

Plans, plans, plans.

Okay so basically for me my life isn't exactly perfect. But then I guess part of the fun is the imperfection. So here's my ideal schedule: Saturdays I wake up and watch this TV show. Then after lunch I do my homework (hopefully finish it). Then at night I read and do other stuff. Also, I practise my flute and maybe piano. And also have my flute lesson. Then on Sunday I get to sleep-in. I chill in the morning, maybe read or finish homework. In the afternoon I do SAT practise. Then at night (and here's the fun part): I cook. I love baking and cooking I haven't done it for a while, so I've decided that as soon as I get my life settled, I will start baking and cooking again. My plan is to cook or bake something new every Sunday for dinner. Also, every other Saturday, I will be helping out and volunteering with the animal shelter to give away dogs. Plus, I'll be playing my flute on the street to hopefully earn a bit of money to donate to the shelter. This is my plan. I want to help out both myself and others. 'You are either an activist or an inactivist'. I'm sick of just saying things. I need to 'do' more instead of keep 'talking'. Also, when I find time, I'm going to complete my own '95 theses' on how we could improve the animal world, ie. one of the theses would be stop the dolphin killing in Japan. When I finish these 95 theses, I'm going to find the mailbox of hopefully all the world leaders and MAIL IT TO THEM. Hopefully, this would garner attention and pressurize them into actually implementing useful plans that can protect the animal world more. Because frankly, I think animals deserve more rights than that.  And on Sundays, I might go play a couple of basketball games with my brother and my father. I want to keep a balanced and happy life. But first, I need to get a grip!!!

Parent-Teacher Conference Results

My mom went to the parent-teacher conference and while she was there, I was worrying about whether or not I did something wrong in class or whether I'd get in trouble or something. Turns out, when she came back, she was in a good mood and said that there was nothing to worry about, except my Chemistry stuff. I'm really bad at Chemistry. I don't know why, I just am. For a lot of people, Chemistry would be the easier subject compared to classes like English and World History, because Chemistry is just about getting the logic and memorizing it. The thing is, I can't memorize things. I can get stories and plots, just not Chemistry stuff. I think it is important for me to learn to get both things that are rational and sentimental, because I want to major in psychology in university, or something along the lines of that, such as anthropology, etc. For me, I think I enjoy English and World History, etc. more than other people because I actually enjoy reading and studying the characters/historical figures. I think the reason why I want to take this path in the future is because of curiousity. I want to understand why people do certain things and their motivations, etc. I know that a lot of people want to major in psychology, too, but I'm not sure why. But I think a good idea would be to keep my eyes wide open so that I could choose another major it I have to. If I do become a psychologist, I want to travel around the world and study all sorts of neurological diseases that cause psychological problems, etc. But, unfortunately, I get emotional and sentimental, etc. easily, so if I see someone in a poor condition I just might break down in front of them, and that's not good. But, I'll stay strong and persevere.

Football in PE

For the three weeks of each PE chapter, we play a different sport. This time, we're playing football. We re-picked our teams. This time, I'm quite confident that the girls have a chance of winning football, though I think it will be a close game. I had the honor of being the captain for the girls. At the beginning, our team won most of the drills. But they got close this last couple of times, though today the other team lost all drills. Our team had all seven of our players, though the other team only had five. So we called two players off and substitued when someone gets tired. Our game went pretty well. First, we had a touchdown, then the other team also had a touchdown. Then we had another touchdown, and we managed to block off the other team's next attack. I was so proud of our team for being able to do that. We had good teamwork. Then, during our break where the boys went on to play, we practised different plays and positions. We practised for offense mostly. It was hard to do, but we managed. Then we were on again, and we managed another touchdown, and we blocked one of their attacks again. We were doing really well. Our defense was really good because we had worked on it on Monday and it worked. However, their touchdown shouldn't have worked, but someone cheated a little. When one of my teammates was trying to pull of the runner's flag, one of the opposing team player grabbed her arm and pulled her back. At first, though I didn't see it, I thought it was really weird because at first the runner were completely surrounded by our defense so there was no way she could have gotten out. But she did. And I was completely shocked. So aferwards, I asked my teammates what went wrong and they told me. We won in the end, 18-12. I think the most important part we need to work on is the offense. It is very important.

My birthday

Today (yesterday?), November 15th, was my birthday. I woke up earlier than usual to finish off my geometry homework. Waking up was hard. It took several attempts for me to finally be infront of my geometry book. Then at school, I recieved a wave of 'Happy Birthdays'. At my locker, one of my friends gave me a gift. I was really surprised and SO grateful. I never thought she'd give me a gift. So anyway, she gave me this frame and this little yellow rabbit doll which I attached to my locker. At lunch, I expected something to come because the previous day one of my friends told me to bring extra clothes. I thought they were going to drench me in water or something. But no. They covered me with shaving cream. It was unbelievable. They covered literally every spot on the top half of my body, including my hair. I had to walk past the whole cafeteria to get to the bathrooms. It was pretty embarrassing but amazingly fun as well. It was so exhilerating. I can't believe being covered in shaving cream could be so fun! In the bathroom, I had a hard time getting rid of all the cream. In the end, I put my head near the sink and washed my hair. my hair was really messy afterwards, so I spent the musical production lesson with my hood from my jacket on. Then I smoothed it out, but it was still ridiculously tangled. I kept playing and teasing my hair apart for the rest of the day. All through the day I recieved a lot of Happy Birthdays. At the end of the day, I went out with a bunch of my friends to a restaurant. I was so full by the end that I could hardly walk. But I managed to stuff the last bit of the chocolate fondue. It's amazing how much space chocolate can clear for your stomach. I also recieved presents from this bunch of my friends. I got earphones (just what I needed since my current ones are broken), a key chain in the shape of a rabbit (yay!!), a Coach key chain (it's so cool, it's from America), and these amazingly adorable rabbit shaped ear muffs. When my mom came to pick me up, she also gave me a present. She gave me this really cute pillow/cushion and a magazine. I love pillows. I collect them. Then the biggest surprise was when I got home, my brother also gave me a present. I didn't expect one from him although my brother and I give eachother presents on eachother's birthdays. And the presents are normally really cool. So he gave me a choice between ordering something on Amazon.com and adopting an animal from WWF. I went with WWF, since then it would be for a greater cause. So I have to pick an animal to adopt or pick a group of animals in which the donation will be equally split between them. My brother is going to donate them in my name. I've already recieved a present like this last year from my brother where he adopted an arctic fox in my name. Only last year, I didn't choose, and he chose. I was completely surprised last year because I came home from school and this email told me that I had adopted an arctic fox. I thought it was spam but then a package arrived with a certificate and all. So this year's birthday was really cool, too and pretty awesome.

SAT practise

On December 3rd, the highschool students of our school have to take the SATs. This is for a mark to submit to the CTY administratives and to make sure you are above the border to be admitted to its dummer camps. Chances are, we won't pass it the first time. However, we will have a second chance at January. And if we don't pass that, then we can't attend the CTY summer camp for this year. But you could always take it again next year. Still, having a record of 10 SATs probably doesn't look good on your college application. One thing I hate about SATs is the essay. Personally, I don't mind writing essays, as long as we can TYPE them. Hand-writing the essays are not only tiring but also takes up a LOT of valuable energy. By the end of the essay your hands are dead, and you barely have enough energy for filling in the circles for other sessions. My mom makes me do SAT practise every week. Mostly now, I'm just practicing my math sessions. I'm trying to aim for getting at least around 680 to 700, that way, atleast I can join a math camp for CTY. Also, its good practise for later. Once I nail the math section, I can focus more on reading extra books and expanding my knowledge for the english sections: critical reading and writing. Although I get annoyed when I'm doing the practises, but I understand that they are important and essential for me. Someone who doesn't practise at all is not going to go to a good college. Like the Chinese proverb says: There is no free lunch in the world.

Western Black Rhinos

On Thursday, November 10, the Western Black Rhino was declareds extinct. This news means a lot to me. If I tell this to someone, they would probably say, "It's just a subspecies... it doesn't matter. I'm sure there are plenty more rhinos in the world." It's JUST a subspecies??? It DOESN'T matter???  PLENTY MORE??? There happens to only be 5 subspecies. 3 of which are critically endangered. And for those of you who don't know what that means, it means that they are on the brink of extinction. ALL of the rhinos are endangered, but 3 of them are near extinction. Still, ALL are endangered. WHY? Because some people think that its ok to just shoot a rhino and cut off their horns. And why do they cut off their horns? Because some people think that the rhino horns are helpful in Eastern traditional medicines. But are they? NO. Rhino horns have not been scientifically proven to be a helpful ingredient in medicines. Even if they are, it is NOT right to just shoot an animal and cut off parts of its body. What makes them think that we are superior to animals and that they are inferior? Once, I asked a fellow student of mine: "What do you think about human beings using all the resources and killing all the animals?" You know what s/he said? S/he said: "I think its fine. The resources and animals are here for us to use." CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? I WANTED TO SLAP S/HE. I wanted to yell in his/her face that HUMAN BEINGS CAME A LOT LATER THAN MOST OF THE SPECIES HERE. Human beings have only been around for about 200,000 years, while techinically, the earth is about 4.5 billion years old. So do the math. This is sounding like a rant. But I'm just so sick of all the ignorant people of this world. How could they look an animal in the eye and pull the trigger? How could they cut down a tree without batting an eye? I'm not saying that I'm not using all these resources, I'm just saying that atleast I am conscious of all the energy I'm using up. One of my dreams as a child was to pay back to Mother Earth, because as a child, I've asked myself: Who am I to use up all these resources and energy? It's like paying back a debt. If you borrowed something, you return it. So I want to do something that could change the world. And when I say the world I don't mean the world of humans, I mean the world of Mother Earth and all the other living beings. If people would just open their eyes, they could see the beauty of the world, and not be blinded by all the killing and wasting. I sincerally hope this would happen one day.